Is it my fault?
Posted by Faisal on April 23, 2007
Is it my fault that the only reason I sit at ahwas downtown is because they’re readily accessible to me and my friends and not because of any cultural reason or excuse? Is it my fault that I don’t want to attend all these “really cool” foreign movies that are shown around different Cairene venues year-round because I honestly don’t believe I’m a cultured person?
Is my fault that I don’t like attending plays, ballets and/or symphonies or because I don’t enjoy them or (in the case of music) don’t see the reason why I have to listen to some orchestra playing when I can get an almost perfect copy of the aforementioned piece on my PC?
Is it my fault that I think art died with the turn of the 20th century and thus I would love nothing better than to visit Florence, Paris, London, Rome but not all these art galleries where people express themselves in ways I don’t even come close to understanding?
Is it my fault that I prefer movies with happy endings even though they may be the complete opposite of what real life is? Is it my fault that I prefer watching most movies at home rather than at a cinema?
Is it my fault that I’d rather write a small piece/article/whatever on the state of Egyptian or international politics than demonstrate? Is it my fault for saying that yes this government is f*cked up beyond all recognition and yet not forget that one has to give credit for things done correctly?
Is it my fault that I consider myself liberal yet wanting to shove some self-righteous morality, ethics and lessons of behavior down the throats of most Egyptians? Is it my fault that everytime I see a police officer, I cannot quell the feeling of rage that rises up inside me because of the way things are?
Is it my fault that there comes a point where one stops trying to come up with solutions and just gives up? Is it my fault that I’m laying the blame on everyone but myself? Is it my fault that my pure and utter disgust and shame have pushed me to levels of apathy I did not know I possessed?
I suppose there’s a yes there somewhere… so I suppose it is.